More Executions of Gays Planned.

Three more Iranians have been sentenced to death for Homosexuality offenses.

A death sentence is the price one pays for being discovered as a Homosexual in Iran.  According to Pink News, the largest Gay news bureau in Europe, the three men were all minors, at the ages of 16 and 17, at the time of the alleged crimes of engaging in consensual Gay sex with other young males  Iran reportedly leads the world in the numbers of its own children it put to death for various offenses.

Could you imagine Heterosexual children in Holland being executed for engaging in sexual relations as 16 and 17 year olds?  Or in England or Italy?   To our modern way of thinking it is beyond preposterous!  Yet this is the life Gay people must live in the dark corners of the world.  For most of the rest of the world, people cannot see these desperate lives or choose not to pay attention to them.

So while we in the west go on about our lives, remember the millions of people around the world who must fear for their safety and risk decades in prison if their true Gay nature is discovered.  Where is the public outrage?

Lawyers for the men believe the executions could take place any day, but no dates have yet been scheduled.  Amnesty International and the Human Rights Watch are following the story.

The takeaway:  The Heterosexual oppressors would prefer we disappear and they are willing to exterminate us given the chance.  There is no living as a free people as long as they have their boots on our necks.

Fear and Self-Loathing in Buffalo

I have been travelling for the last week; Rochester, Toronto and Buffalo.  While in Buffalo I was asked to speak to a Buffalo Gay Men’s Group.  There were perhaps three dozen people in attendance.  While most do not consider themselves activists, they are prominent business owners and professionals from throughout Western New York.  Many of the men I met were charming, engaging and sociable.  But on this all important election eve in November 2009, no one but me seemed to be jonesing for election results!  What could be more important than the vote in Maine on Proposition One?  Or the re-election of Governors that support our rights to Federal Equality?

As it all turned out, Maine continued our nationwide disappointment.  It is one more example of how the Heterosexual majority does not see us as worthy of being married, having financial security or raising a family in America.  What was most astonishing to me is when I expressed my dismay to one of the leaders in the Buffalo Gay community, the unexpected response was, “That’s the problem!  Those FAG-gots want to have it all!”  I thought I had misunderstood the sentiments of my host and I asked him to repeat himself and he did: “Those FAG-gots [and when he used the word, he said it with such vitriol and animosity] they expect to have everything!”

To my thinking, being able to marry the love of my life is not expecting “it all.”  Having the same “freedom” as everyone else is not asking for too much in my estimation.  And “those FAG-gots,” it appears, is ME.  It is WE.  And it is reprehensible that a Gay man of adequate intellect and intelligence should so perfectly mirror the hateful speech one would expect from our enemies.  It is a unique brand of self-loathing that Gay men experience after having a lifetime of discrimination foisted upon them.  To hear the sentiment was disappointing.  Standing before a Gay brother who feels this way about our very being is sad.  I would not want to live in his skin nor walk in his shoes.  I can only imagine the discomfort his own life brings him.

I may be an old man.  I may be even older than my years.  But to my way of thinking there is no way one can tolerate the use of the word “faggot.”  To me it is as ugly as the “N” word.  I have heard that African Americans like to use it amongst themselves as a sort of empowerment.  I don’t buy it.  It is ugly and vile and using hate speech towards your own does everyone a disservice.  It merely perpetuates the humiliation and belittles a groups collective worth.

Neither do I like the use of “queer.”  I am old enough that in literature and speech, queer meant strange.  There is nothing “strange” about being a Gay man.  That I live my life to bring happiness to Mike and to build a nice home for our family in not — “strange.”  To call ourselves strange is wrong.  We may as well call ourselves freaks.  Our enemies and oppressors would like that just as much and using these words gives power to discrimination where it should be banished altogether. 

This is where the generation gap rears its head.  The twenty-something’s of today seem to find “queer” perfectly acceptable if not preferable and I can only hope they will outgrow this notion that self-deprecation equates to power.

The one other takeaway from my time with Buffalo’s Gay community is that divisiveness within the community can act like a poison.  Tensions between the Gay men and the more activist Lesbian community in Buffalo may spell doom to next years Gay Pride Parade in Buffalo and neither side seems willing to work and cooperate with the other in pulling it all together.  This would be a loss that would be felt throughout the region.  With a very long winter still to come to the good folks of Buffalo, I hope they can overcome their divisions and celebrate together come next spring.  Accept that their will be differences but do not turn our backs on our customs or traditions.

“Kill The Gays” Tour Continues Its Sold Out Concerts in America.

In my life I have witnessed the swinging of the pendulum more times than I care to admit.  We gain some rights in our quest for Gay Equality and then we suffer setbacks.  I can remember President Clinton planning one of his first Executive Orders to call for allowing Gays to serve openly in the US Military.  Now 17 years later, in order to serve our country with “honor” we must continue to live a lie about who we are as human beings.

 Still in 2009, after David Mixner called on all of us to rally at the U.S. Capitol, our prospects look brighter for Gay Equality than I call recall in my lifetime.  Meanwhile in the parallel universe of “Mainstream America,” life goes on in ways that diminish Gays as less than full citizens.

 Which brings me to one uneducated, unenlightened, anti-Gayite by the name of Buju Banton, a Jamaican who makes a nice living playing to sold out concert halls across America.  It’s not news to most of you reading these words that he has entitled his concert tour as the “Kill The Gays” Tour.  A rabid Homophobe he proudly proclaims to his audiences that “there is no end to the war between me and the faggots.”  His hate inspired lyrics include the passive suggestions of pouring acid on Gays, to “burn them up bad, like an old wheel tire.”  He goes on to sing about how “faggots get up and run” when Buju comes, that “they have to die,”  and describes how to shoot Gays dead in the head with a submachine gun.

 Initially, many venues cancelled his performance and TicketMaster pulled out of its agreement with the “Kill The Gays” Tour.  Since then, many other, independent venues have come forward so that Buju’s followers could assemble to listen to his live, hated-inspired music.  And I am not surprised the ticket sales have been brisk.  Concerts have been cancelled but many others have sold out, including in San Francisco’s Bay Area.  “It is insulting and offensive that here in San Francisco, one of the Gayest cities in the world, we have to tolerate having this hate shoved down our throats under the guise of the First Amendment, right here in our own city” said one protester outside the concert.  “Hate speech like this and like Gangsta Rap,  ought to be illegal.  How does it contribute to a healthy peaceful society?” an unidentified protestor added.

 Tonight, The Buju Banton Hate Fest moves on to the Sunshine State with performances scheduled for Tampa, Orlando and Jacksonville.

 Keep in mind as we celebrate our “victories” that should produce results in Washington, DC “any day now,” victims of Gay Bashings are still beaten and in hospitals and mobs gather to celebrate our oppression. 

 Yes, the pendulum.  It continues to swing. And each time it does, I am less jubilant in the good times, for I understand what is just around the corner.

 The Takeaway:  Even in the USA, we are only free to the extent that our oppressors allow us to be.

 And in The Gay State:  We are free and equal and do not rely on non-Gay Heterosexual masters to tell us when we can have some freedom and how much we will be tolerated.  Hard earned freedom is ours and we have proclaimed it!

 

Everything I Need To Know About Tight Ends I Learned As A Young Man.

My name is Garrett Graham.  Garrett T. Frasier Graham.  I haven’t been much of a publicity hound in this life.  Surprisingly if you were to Google my name, you’ll come up with page after page of information on Garrett Graham.  With a careless, casual inspection, the world is obsessed with one of my body parts.  Garrett Graham’s Tight End this and Garrett Graham’s Tight End that.  In case you are wondering, the “T” in my name doesn’t stand for “Tight.”  Now there is nothing wrong with a Tight End.  I like a good Tight End as much as the next man in line.   But I’ve haven’t been accused of having a Tight End in a good ten years.  Ok, maybe 15 years.  But, well, ok fine, maybe it has been 20 years or thereabouts but on that I am holding firm.  Still curvy, still bubblicious , and still firm.

As it turns out there is some young buck roaming around the streets of Madison with the same name.  Another tough, manly Garrett Graham.  Young, scrappy and solid, they say he plays football for the Wisconsin Badgers.  I know the Wisconsin Badgers.  Their state motto on their license plate reads “Come and Freeze in the Land of Cheese.”  Or something like that.  But aside from that, all I know from Badgers is what I do to my husband when I don’t get my own way, which is more common than you might think.

I saw some pix of the other Garrett Graham.  Tall, muscular and wholesome looking.  Really, a refreshingly tall drink of homogenized; probably fat free glass of frothy cold milk, yet with lots of cream resting on top, that is if you can have it both ways.  He is probably as wholesome as it can get in America’s Intestines.  I know the folks in the “fly over” states prefer to think of themselves as “America’s Heartland,” but I can’t oblige them on that.  I am from New York and we have just as much heart as anybody.  I know, because it’s been broken so many times. But every state has heart.  They have heart in South Beach and San Francisco.  They have heart in Seattle’s Capitol Hill and Washington DC’s DuPont Circle.

 If they want to create a nickname that plays off their internal location, away from either end, they can’t have “America’s Heartland,” but I will give them “America’s Intestines.”  It’s catchy, it’s short and will fit nicely on their license plates.  And believe me, when the intestines are happy, everybody is happy.  You’d know this too if you’ve ever spent time in Tijuana.

 So in closing, when you think of Garrett Graham you can think of tight ends if you want.  Just not this Garrett Graham and not this tight end.  So don’t ask me to autograph your balls and you probably shouldn’t ask that other Garrett Graham to autograph my new book called The Gay State.  Does anyone else see the irony in this?

Here’s a little trick to help you tell us apart should we ever show up at the same cocktail party, opera, or nude mud wrestling event:  I’m the Garrett Graham from Greenwich Village, Manhattan (as in, “Why yes, another Mojito would be just fabulous!”)  And the other, younger version of Garrett Graham is from across the Hudson River in nearby Brick, NJ (as in, “Why yes, he is built like a brick S*&+ house!”)  which really  makes the whole “America’s Intestines” motto all the richer, don’t you think?

I think I could learn to like “cheese-heads” but that is a whole other story.

The National Equality March on Washington Continues to Produce Positive Outcome.

To the many in America’s Gay community who voiced opposition to the Gay march, I want you to take note of all of the positive buzz that seems to be happening lately.  I attribute this national change of heart to the 100,000 to 200,000 of Gay and non-Gay American’s that stood up and said Enough!

Enough with the unequal treatment!  Enough with being First Class Taxpayers but treated as Second Class Citizens.  Enough with my government not protecting my constitutional rights.  And most importantly, the throngs of young people who rose up to say to the old, entrenched Gay power base, that their moldy notions of Gay incrementalism is a theory that’s time has passed.

We demanded reason and action on October 11^th and we stood our ground before the US Capitol while many of our Gay leaders of yesterday proved they were  more interested in protecting their power base and influence than standing up for what was right.

Take note of the recent developments:

1. Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania has changed his mind on Gay Marriage.
2. John Baldacci, the Governor of Maine has announced his support for Gay Marriage in what has become a national battleground this election season.
3. John McHugh, the Secretary of the Army says the military is ready to lift the Gay ban.
4. President Obama is set to sign the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Bill tomorrow.
5. NFL (National Football League in US) a bastion of Old School Machismo, Suspends Larry Johnson of the Kansas City Chiefs for his Anti-Gay Slur.

Of course in a perfect world as in our own Gay State, none of these issues would exist.  Countless hours of human productivity and effort would not be wasted on issues that suppress our rights as full and equal citizens.

But here we are talking about the United State after all; a land where homophobia and Gay oppression runs deep and the historic tide has been against Gays, Lesbians and Transgender people.

 So at least we should celebrate these advancements.  No, in the big picture, none of it is good enough when Gay youth commit suicide and are disowned from their families because of who they are and Gay bashings occur against the everyday, regular man on the street, simply because he was Gay and walking home from a convenience store.  But you can feel the tide turning and I attribute that to our committed marchers, who turned out en mass, even when told by the crusty, out of touch leadership that the rally was doomed to fail.

To the Equality marchers, I am proud of you for taking a stand.  To the organizers, you are heros and what you have done to advance the cause of our lives will not be forgotten.  To David Mixner, when the world’s first Gay State is established, there will surely be a monument dedicated to you.  To Cleve Jones, you are already in the history books, and your reputation only grows.  LT Dan Choi, Robin McGehee and Derek Washington; I think of the parallels between each of you and the countless unsung hero’s that deserved to be honored in America’s War for Independence.  You each are hero’s I met personally at the March on October 11th; and to countless others,  know that you helped change lives and give hope and I thank you all collectively.  I’m sure Harvey Milk is looking down and smiling.

We still have a long way to go, but don’t give up.  This is a new reason for hope and enjoy these apparent gains.  I think it’s time for a Cosmo; how about you?

America The Selfish.

Baby Boomers.  You knew them as the “me” generation or maybe the “feel good” generation.  As they aged, they have apparently become the “to hell with you” generation.  A demographic that was going to change the world has, well, have you looked around lately?  They have made a colossal mess of things.

The Town Hall meetings in the summer of 2009 may have put the final nail in the coffin of America’s “can do” philosophy.  Instead of masses turning up to support and demand equal health care for their fellow citizens, they embarrassed themselves and our country by their crude, selfish and heartless greed.  Why is it that those with insurance want to deny it to others?  The answer: A lack of concern for our brothers, our neighbors and the worry it might cost them something.  Why is it that health insurance is expected to be paid by small businesses, breaking the financial backs of many small entrepreneurs before they have hardly begun?  The answer:  greed, or better yet, “I have mine and to hell with you.”  After all, our employers are not sent a bill to pay the tolls that I have accrued on our national highways.   They don’t pay for my homeowners insurance so why on earth should they have to pay for our health insurance?   Health care in the 21^st century is indeed a well earned right in a country that likes to think of itself as a super power.  For all of the taxes I pay and tens of thousands in property taxes, a grade-A Congressional-level health care plan should be mine, compliments of Uncle Sam for all of the ways we support this country.  Why is it the biggest financial meltdown in decades (we’ve heard ‘since the Great Depression’ so many times that we are numbed to it) is blamed on hard working families trying to fight for a few crumbs of the American pie.  The answer:  Can you say scapegoat?  I am a pro-business man but corporations have raped this country and abused our citizens for so long we often don’t even see it anymore.

 

There may be few innocents among us but the big picture answer, it seems to me is selfishness.  I have mine and to hell with you.  This is the core belief of the crowd that loves Rush Limbaugh; usually the lower to middle class republicans with a libertarian streak who may struggle to hold it all together financially yet they are taking their cues from a man who makes upward of $90 million a year, pedaling his hatemongering to them.  And these listeners who apparently have nothing better to do during the day when his radio gig is broadcast across America, eat up each and every talking point he utters.  Limbaugh is nothing if not a top notch salesman, and as the PT Barnum of the modern era, he convinces his ditto-heads to march to his beat.  Their collective refrain is often the same old “well, life is full of choices and if health insurance is so important to you, you probably shouldn’t be creating art that no one wants but go to work for corporate America instead.”

 

There are so many things wrong with this thinking I don’t know where to begin.  Corporate America is flailing about because even they cannot compete internationally due to their stifling legacy costs that no other enlightened country should impose upon their businesses.  And do we really want to smother the creative ingenuity of risk-takers who dare to dream a vision that could enhance all of our lives and someday change the world; even just a little bit?  Just think of the capital that could be unleashed into new research and development if companies big and small did not have to commit enormous resources for health care costs that are not their responsibility?  Think of the explosion of entrepreneurs and the creativity and ingenuity they would unleash.  They are men and women who would be free to live their dream if they didn’t feel somehow ball and chained to their corporate masters for health care in the event they or their loved ones become sick?  Millions of lives with dreams deferred that in other countries would not pose such a detriment.

 

There is a deep divide in America.  The safety net for the average citizen is fraying away and becoming so thin as to be almost meaningless.  As a Gay man, I have lived my entire adult life as a first class taxpayer and as a second class citizen, so I am used to receiving little in  return for my contribution.   But all Americans, Gay and non-Gay alike deserve so much better from their government.  So, haven’t you ever wondered where does all of the money go?  Why are other, more advanced nations able to provide for their citizens in ways that we can’t.

 

I love America, if not out of habit from a half of century of supporting it.  But if we can all stop chanting “USA! USA!” long enough, why have we fallen compared to the rest of the world in home ownership?  Why are our kids doing so poorly in international tests?  Why does the average American have such a shorter life expectancy?  Why are our children the sickest in the world and infant mortality the highest of the industrial world?  Why do Americans toil away at their work many more hours than our European compatriots yet we perversely celebrate the hours of our lives passing away that could better be spent with our families and community?  Doesn’t this equate to some sort of corporate or national brainwashing that we should gleefully work more hours to receive less, and yet feel it should be bragged about?   Is that a capital “L” on your forehead or are we being suckered?  Why are we such a violent nation, yet insist on “clinging” to our guns?  What are we the best at, other than the capacity to end all life on planet earth, that we are compelled to shout “USA! USA!”

The world use to admire us.  Many nations respected us.  Now they resent us.  Some still fear us.  Many nations loathe us.  But saddest of all, many countries pity us and it is most difficult to accept their pity.  We were a great country.  We had achieved greatness, and raised the bar to historic proportions.  But the world is watching as we decay from within and our superiority becomes nothing more than shallow slogans.   We will go down defiantly and the process of becoming “one of many” will be ugly and painful to watch, as we will not accept the dethroning of the United States with any grace and dignity.  Howard Dean was right when he cited Paul Kennedy in The Rise and Fall of Great Powers.  He and his presidential campaign took a substantial body blow for speaking the truth.  Great powers do fade away.  I believe the world will come to mourn the day when the USA is not a steadying force.  For better or worse, the USA is in decline and I fear it will ultimately be replaced with a power that will not sit well with Americans. 

 We have silently allowed our Chinese bankers to become our financial masters, who enable all of our vices, not the least of which is our addiction to oil which we attain from powers that turn around and use our dollars to kill fellow Americans.  Yes, it is a complicated world, but it has also become devoid of any morality.  Our politicians pander to the masses, having no backbone of their own.  They all make a grand fuss to deny me the right to marry in my own country on the grounds of some twisted moral grounds, but go about being an accessory to the murder of our men and women in uniform in a distant land that does not directly endanger our nation.

 

Martin Luther King was right when he said “We all may have come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.”  It is time for Americans to start acting like it, all rowing in the same direction.  We can all see what selfishness has brought us.  Why don’t we all aspire to serve our communities first and foremost.  We have in the end, nothing left to lose.  Oh, and great job, Boomers!  I can only imagine how proud you feel of the world you created.

 

Calif. Court to Punish Nude Sunbathers on Beaches

Don’t go Au Natural when in California.

In the state that epitomizes Beach and Sun, Surf and Sand, “Beach Blanket Bingo” and all things liberal in the USA, now residents are told they must keep their pants on, er swim suits that is, when they go to any of the iconic California beaches.

The California Supreme Court actually had to get involved in this squabble when the community values people and moralists brigade raised a fuss over the nude sunbathing being enjoyed on the states clothing optional beaches.  Now, people who want to enjoy a public beach in the nude will be punished.

 In the past there were areas on some beaches that had a reputation for being “clothing optional.”  Now, sensibilities of the majority are such that going au natural is now deemed to be an intolerable scandal.  Apparently it does not matter that everyone knows where these beaches are and that it is easy to avoid them if one chooses to.  In effect, if anyone found their way onto a clothing optional beach it is because they chose to be there.  These informally designated areas that have offered nude sunbathing for more than 20 years will now see a crackdown.

 Officials have already begun to crack down on some of the nicest and most popular clothing optional beaches.  One naturist said that these moralists that forced the issue into court “are demonizing what God gave us and these people don’t share our values.  Their intolerance is shameful.  We don’t force them to go nude on their beaches, they shouldn’t force us to cover up on our beaches.” 

 That being said, it remains true that this land of the Puritans continues to surprise the world with their societal attitudes.  But this is one of those states that took away our rights to marry by popular vote, so nothing should surprise us.  What is surprising is that California, a state with a historic budget shortfall and dire economic predictions; in a state where civil servants are being paid with paper “IOU’s” because the government is broke, THIS is what they are working on.  The irony is that soon, no one will be able to afford to buy a swim suit and everyone will be swimming nekked.

 THE TAKEAWAY: 

Over There:  “Shame! in what God and your Momma gave you.”

Over HERE, in our new Gay State:  To paraphrase Patrick Henry:  “Give me my nude Gay Beaches or give me death!”

I’m Late to the Big Blogging Ball

Hello everyone!  Thank you for stopping by but it is sort of like all of the invited guests arriving for one of our fantabulous dinner parties and I’m still in my bathrobe. I’m confident it will all be a smashing success in the end, but the start is a bit on the bumpy side.

Sometime last week, my agent suggested I start this blog.   I always try to be a gamer so I thought why not?  I fiddled around with the control panel and found myself staring at a blank page and nothing prepared for posting.   I hope that readers might stay with me to see what evolves and don’t judge on this introduction.  The mechanics of the wordpress.com site seem a little clunky and although I am not at all sure of what I’m doing, going live with a blank page was even more embarassing.

 So here I am on a Thursday evening in glamorous and exciting New York City.  Manhattan, baby.  My husband Mike is over there in his leather club chair, sitting in his tightie whities, watching “Project Runway” and dozing off.  I’m in my club chair, lap top perched on my lap.  Our three dogs are running around, playing and trying to draw me into their frenzy by holding their ball just inches from my hand as I type.  Does it all sound positively titallating so far?

Actually, earlier tonight was a lot of fun.  I went to support Tracy Morgan at the Barnes and Noble book signing at Union Square.  He drew a nice crowd and Tracy, you did a bang up job!  You were a riot and everybody loved you!  And yes! your book, “I Am The New Black,” is going to be HUGE!  I love Tracy’s work on “SNL” and “30 Rock” and now that he’s a member of the “literary world,”  at least check out the inside jacket the next time you are at your favorite book store.  It’s a fun and easy read!  Anyway, on the way home we took our new hardcover book out to the Heartland Brewery for beer, wings and Bison burgers.

Tomorrow is a big day, so as soon as Jon Stewart is over, I’m taking the dogs out and hitting the sack.  Pitiful, isn’t it?  But that’s all I got.